I went inside and fretted over the ants. Then I fretted over the wasp nests all over my house. Then I fretted over the clogged bathtub drain and leaky toilet and the places where squirrels have eaten bits (read: chunks) of the cypress wood off of my house.
I started dreaming of escape, of a place that isn’t so enticing to critters of all shapes and sizes, of a place with no plumbing woes ever, of a place that doesn’t make me feel so outmatched and incapable. I can gut a fish alright, but when it comes to plumbing and landscaping and pest control, forget about it.
I texted my sweet friend Bill for advice: should I stay or should I go now….and as I was texting him, I remembered that crazy, shoot-the-moon prayer I was praying six years ago this month: God, please, can we have a house? I know it makes NO sense, but I also know that’s kinda Your gig…
Two months later, I had the keys to this brand new house with a wraparound porch and all these trees and green and quiet and I knew His crazy grace and Father-love on a whole new level. I had tangible evidence to literally abide in every single day:
He is good. And He loves me.
I remembered how many times I’ve shared this story with someone who needed to hear that He is so, so good and His Word is true and He is beyond able to meet our needs.
I’m not ready to stop telling that story.
So I killed the ants I could see. I fixed the plumbing I could fix and called in reinforcements for the rest. I shooed squirrel #356 away with a warning for the rest of his tribe and I checked on my tomato plants, thrilled to see baby green fruit growing strong on the vine.
I stopped dreaming of escape and started dreaming instead about when those tiny green tomatoes are big and red and juicy and we’re still here even if the ants and the wasps and the squirrels are, too.
When I found this woppy-jawed picture of my house this morning I saw it clearly, how He was right there in my fretting, reminding me of His goodness all along.
“Let the redeemed of the Lord tell their story— those he redeemed from the hand of the foe, those he gathered from the lands, from east and west, from north and south. Some wandered in desert wastelands, finding no way to a city where they could settle. They were hungry and thirsty, and their lives ebbed away. Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress. He led them by a straight way to a city where they could settle. Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for mankind, for he satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things.” (Psalm 107:2-9 NIV)