There are profound things stirring and on their way to becoming spoken word, but for now, general updates will have to serve my need for production. And so, generally, I update.
-I ran my first 5k on Saturday morning. It was fun. It was easier than I thought it would be, and I’m so grateful I was able to do it. The race started outside the Cabot High fieldhouse, went past my elementary school, and looped up the street where I grew up. I thought I would feel all symbolic and look-how-far-I’ve-come-ish, but instead I thought things like, “There’s the Delahunts’ old house,” and “Water people? Really? It’s only 3 miles,” and “I should NOT have drank that water,” and “How in the world did I get boxed in by all these old ladies?” It was such a great experience, and I promptly registered for an 8k in May, to be run with the only LSU fan I will tolerate, ever (you know who you are).
-I’m leaving for Vegas next week. That kind of freaks me out. What do you do in Vegas when you don’t drink or gamble? Work. That’s what you do. And that’s what I’ll be doing. I will also be soaking up every minute of quality time I can get with one of my favorite ladies in the whole world, Carol Isom.
-I had to tell a friend something that I was sure would undo our friendship – something I just knew would be the breaking point. But, as has been my theme as of late, I chose honesty. And she chose grace. Overwhelming, head-spinning grace and love. She spoke words over me that only someone with His Spirit would find herself able or even willing to speak. And in speaking these words, she poured Gilead’s balm into this hideously deep wound. She helped me realize how far He has brought me in being able to receive Love.
-Here are some of the wonderful, profound, funny or otherwise useful words that have found their way to me at just the right times:
…”Maybe it was just so you can say that you obeyed the Lord…”
…”We just had us an Anchorman moment. Did you feel that?”
…”You are loved.”
…”You can be sure that I will not look at you and see this.”
…”It doesn’t make it okay, but he didn’t mean any harm. He just doesn’t know what he’s doing.” (Said by Officer Gentry of the Fayetteville PD RE: crazy pervert groper in Walmart parking lot. Coincidentally, I believed him.)
…”I took a test a few weeks ago to see if I had Asperger’s and it turns out that I don’t. So my weirdness is absolutely normal.”
…”HE is for you. Don’t forget that.”
-I got dressed up last night and went to a wedding in Hot Springs with a friend. It was good to go to a simple, unpretentious wedding. It was good to watch two people start over. It was good to wear a pretty dress, to laugh, be laughed at, and just generally feel pleasant. And it was good to crawl into bed after fatigue set in at 8pm and my head started nodding. Just call me Meemaw.
-I love that I go to a church where I can be sitting in the middle of Sunday service, and I can feel the full weight of grief, but I can also feel so safe. I love that I know I could lie down right there in the pew and have one terrific meltdown if I really needed to. I also love that I don’t really need to.
And that’s all she wrote. Literally. I’m so grateful for the people God has placed in my life…such a great cloud of witnesses. I will carry the grace from these days far longer than I’ll carry the pain.
Here I raise my Ebenezer, here by Thy great help I’ve come…