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No Space of Regret

Posted by on December 30, 2012

I simply must confess – I love snow. I know that many have had a hard time being without power in this storm, and I do not love that. (Kudos to Entergy and all of the workers from far and near who gave up snow play dates and vacations and the like to help restore power.) But I so love the image of sparkly white blanketing the grass and trees and cars and streets, the excitement of staying up late, waiting for the first few flakes to fall. It’s magic. Pure magic. I kid you not, when fall sets in, I start praying for snow. Olivia joined me in that prayer this year. Clearly, she is hard to resist. I’ve never seen so much glee on her face.

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Last year, Christmas had us running in circles and by the end of it, I was so exhausted that I decided we would start spending Christmas in the Rockies at a ski lodge or maybe hop up to Boston to see the Joneses. Either way, we would be in snow country for Christmas. We wouldn’t spend hours shopping for unnecessary presents, I wouldn’t bake until my apron was worn thin. We would just go somewhere and enjoy being there together, us two.

Well, we didn’t make it to Boston, and Liv’s still too young for the Rockies, but we still had a simple, snowy Christmas. A peaceful one. I didn’t agonize over gifting, and I didn’t cook a single thing I didn’t want to. And because we kept things simple, when it was time to help my sweet sister with something, I was ready. To me, that is one of the greatest gifts – to be called on to help. So, because I didn’t fill my schedule up with one thousand things I thought were expected of me, I had the privilege of being there for someone I love – and being fully there.

Being fully present this Christmas was the gift I received in exchange for years of Christmases past spent aimlessly scurrying about. And you can bet your stockings I’ll remember it every Christmas future.

Come in, — come in! and know me better, man! I am the Ghost of Christmas Present. Look upon me! You have never seen the like of me before!
– Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol

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